assassinregrets:

melaninjaclan:

no one looks dumber than a guy who calls a girl ugly after he was just hitting on her

a guy who calls a girl a whore for not sleeping with him is a strong contender

bombing:

we need to stop being so desperate about finding aliens. we need to play hard to get, pretend like we couldn’t care less. watch them come rushing into our atmosphere

curvesncurls:

jumex:

I actually hate being sappy like I’ll say “I missed you today” then immediately drag them to diffuse the situation

“Where were you today? I missed u. Thought ya lil ugly ass went and joined the soul circus”

a cute study abroad story from my history teacher

polyglotaspirations:

leahrning:

so his friend goes to Germany to study abroad for 3 months, right? and she’s studied German in school, but she certainly isn’t fluent, and she never put a ton of effort into it, just a normal amount. And when she gets to Germany, her host family doesn’t speak English. at all. not a word. two adults and four children and none of them are speaking english. it’s absolute hell to get by, she’s constantly gesturing and enunciating and having to speak perfect German (they weren’t very good at understanding her unless it was perfect) and it’s three tiring months of nonstop German action. and on the last day they’re sitting at the dinner table and the father turns to her and says in wonderfully fluent english, “so I’d say your German’s improved quite a bit since you got here.”

OH MY GODDDDD

goddessofidiocy:

goddessofidiocy:

the government literally wanted to nuke new york and now THEY’RE the ones telling the avengers that they’ve caused too much damage i literally

#well at least it’s 100% in character with how a government would act (via)

baddiebey:

I get so tired of hearing my own thoughts sometimes omg like shut up hoe damn!

2srooky:

abunchofgrapes:

2srooky:

whyamisospooky:

you’re such a b**** (bagel)

why is ewan mcgregor saying that in front of a waterfall

Why not.